Entertainment

S* x With Humans Is Boring – Woman Explains Why She Enjoys Love Making With Elves

Published

5 years ago

December 4, 2018

Peter Dredd

Woman Explains Why She Enjoys Love Making With Elves

A woman has confessed she has s x with elves, revealing they have “glittery” sperm and are “very flexible”.

Hallgerdur Hallgrimsdottir, who said she was an elf sex expert and has even written a book called Please YoursELF, boasted she had “loads of orgasms” while enjoying love-making with elves.

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“Elves sort of know what you want in bed. They don’t need to ask what you want, they can read your mind and maybe even know better of what you want than you do which is very incredible.”

She was full of praise for elves’ nimble bodies.

“They are very flexible so can use potions which would not be possible as human beings,” Hallgerdur recounted.

Showing a book of elf sex positions, she said: “This is a picture of one of the crazy positions that an elf can do.”

In it the elf is bent over backwards, his head facing skywards.